Seminary: A Crucible of Faith
So about a year and a half ago, I got around to responding to a friend’s question of how had seminary affected my faith. Over the last few weeks, I have come back to this question. Some of those things I am still struggling with. The difference now is, my classes this semester seem particularly timely. They are forcing me to take a deeper look at myself. Read more
How has seminary affected my faith and beliefs
A friend of mine presented me with this question last week and I put off answering. One reason is that I procrastinate but the other reason was that I have actually been dealing with a lot of things lately and that question was very timely. So in no particular order, here are some insights into seminary.
Seminary brings things into focus. When I worked in the business and education sectors, it was easy to compartmentalize my life. Sunday and Wednesday nights I went to church and the rest of the week I worked or played. I knew that God had called me to more than just to sitting on a pew. For that matter, He has called everyone of us to more than just that. However, in seminary the spiritual is always there. My professors read the Bible and pray in class. Coming from a public university, that seemed odd at first. Also during my first two semesters, I had to attend chapel three days a week. So I was bombarded with the Word of God.
My evangelism class has forced me to realize that the Gospel I believe is lacking from what is in scripture. I shy away from thinking about let alone talking about Hell and I forget about the resurrection which gives the Gospel its power. The death of Christ is wonderful but without the resurrection, Christ would just be another martyr. I am made aware daily of the people I come across in my daily routines. How many of these has God placed in my path to share the Gospel with and I simply walk around them to my next destination.
There appears to be this subconscious elevation of seminary students. I have been in small groups where it feels as though people are looking to me for the answers simply because I attend seminary. I read scripture and see the standard that Christ gives for those in leadership and I feel wholly inadequate. There are days that I question why someone would choose to put me in leadership.
Ultimately, seminary has shown me where I place my faith. All these things that I have struggled with and studied should drive me to my knees. However, I find myself trying to numb these feelings with work or entertainment. But as God has made clear even just this semester, He will not allow me to stay there. I continually reach the point where even work and entertainment are not satisfying and it drives me to the Lord.
Pressing On & Falling into Place
I started at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in January of this year and needless to say it has been an experience so far. I had been in the corporate and academic world for the last five years. I have one masters degree but it was all online and didn’t really challenge me that much. So after five years, it is taking a while to get into the mindset of being a student again. That and my bad habit of procrastination is still with me. Several nights I have been up till 3am because I just didn’t work on my papers sooner.
I was working two jobs and going to school but that got to be too much so I quit the first one and now I deliever pizzas for Pizza Hut 30 hours a week. It’s really not that bad of a job and most days I look forward to going to work. I think one big reason I like this job is that it doesn’t follow me home at the end of the day like my previous jobs. I take the pizzas, I deliever them. Rinse and repeat and then I go home. I work with people from all over the world from Sudan, Algeria, and Serbia.
I moved my membership to Travis Avenue last week and have been talking with the Community Outreach Minister about starting a Computer Literacy program. There was also discussion of also starting GED and citizenship classes to supplement the ESL classes that are already taking place. I’ve gotten plugged into a Sunday School class and a small group and have even found opportunities to sing and play my guitar.
There are still many areas of my life that I struggle with but at the same time, God is showing himself faithful and providing places for me to worship, fellowship and serve.
