Code of Faith

Granted it took me 28 years, but as of today I am officially a citizen of the state of Texas.  This is the sixth state I have lived in.  I haven't changed states in quite a few years.

As proof of my citizenship, I would show you a picture of my driver's license but I don't have one.  Despite all the technological advances Texas has over Louisiana, they can not print you a complete drivers license while you wait.  I sure hope I don't need a picture ID in the next three weeks.

So instead of that I will show you a picture of all the new stickers I have on my windshield.  The technician that performed my inspection did a horrible job of removing the old sticker.  Also, as a side rant, what is up with charging me $90 in sales tax on a vehicle that was paid in full over a year ago in a different state.  Did I somehow sell my vehicle to the state of Texas and they sell it back to me so they could charge me tax.  I'm still scratching my head over that whole thing.

As a pizza delivery guy, I have come across a lot of interesting things.  Some people have no problem answering the door in their underwear.  Well, I do.  Please for the love of all things holy and right, do not, under any circumstances, ever, ever answer the door in your underwear.  This one guy had to top that though.  He answered the door in his underwear, with his last name tattooed across his pot-belly and he was smoking a peace pipe.  I doubt it was tobacco but it looked just like all the peace pipes you would see in those old westerns.

Sorry, chased a rabbit there.  Back to the subject at hand.  Kids are great.  Some will go ballistic when they see the pizza guy.  Some will just start talking to you like they've known you for years.  This weekend, this one kid started telling me about how he was losing his tooth and how he couldn't get it to come out.  Or they'll tell you they love dinosaurs and Scooby-Doo.

I also love to watch people.  Not like stalking but just observing them.  Take the kid with the loose tooth.  While I was at the door, his dad drove up the driveway.  He and his sister's eyes light up and they just sprinted to his truck.  I just watched them stand on the running board hanging onto the door just talking to their dad and him asking them about their day.

The next morning I was driving through another neighborhood and saw a father coming home walking up the sidewalk.  He had his arms opened just walking toward the house.  His kids then saw him and just ran to his open arms.

I'm not going to draw any conclusions or make any analogies or allegories.  I'll just let these events mean to you want you want them to. 

So the last couple of weeks the Lord has been teaching me a great deal about the areas in my life that are lacking.  He's also been bringing up past emotional wounds and inadequacies for me to deal with.  To say the least, this has been an emotionally draining time.  It seems that God breaks me over something everyday.

What's funny is this is actually an answer to my prayers.  My prayer for the last few months has been that God would bring me out of my apathy and spiritual dryness.  I remember in several of my prayer times hesitating.  I remember praying for the Lord to break me and wondering if I was really serious.  I counted the cost and knew that I didn't want to continue in the lifestyle I was in.

So Thursday morning was a culmination.  I had procrastinated on a paper for two days and was going to get up at 5:30am and finalize it.  Well I overslept and also missed my class.  I also did not have time to read my bible or pray before class.  At the same time, I spent the entire morning dealing with feelings of confusion and inadequacy.  Now in the past, I would have just gripped and complained about my circumstances.  Or perhaps I would have drowned my sorrows in food or sleep.  This time was different.   

I got to work and my boss could tell I was stressed.  He asked if I owned a gun.  I assured him I did not.  I grabbed my Bible and journal and told him, "I'm going to take care of things."  I sat in a vacant conference room and just bored out my heart to the Lord and let him speak to me through His Word and through prayer.  Now I'm not saying that everything is going to feel "right as rain" after spending time with God every time, but He knew that I needed to be refreshed and have my spirit calmed. 

Because of the LORD's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!  Let us strive to know the LORD. His appearance is as sure as the dawn.  He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land.
Lamentations 3:22-23, Hosea 6:3 

Ok, ignore the goofy looking guy on the left.  I have the dumbest look on my face.  The other guys were from a church in Rogers, AR.  They were in Alberta on a mission trip.  I was too, I was working separately but for a few days I hooked up with their group.

So the point of this post is just the majestic beauty in the background.  This lake is fed by a melting glacier so that is why the water is so blue.  All the minerals in the ice.  I was digging through my pictures and I just had to post this.

So I did something tonight that I haven’t done in years.  I went skating.  It was fun.  It was like a game of Frogger trying to weave between kids and not run over them when they cut in front of you.  We celebrated a friends birthday and we just acted like kids even though most of us are probably 15 years or older than the kids there.  But after about 2 hours I could feel my age kicking in and I started going slower and slower.  Plus my back started tightening up on me.  I’m going to be so sore in the morning.  However, once we left the rink at about 11pm I was just getting started.  I guess it was all the endorphins but I’m really not that tired right now.  So I ended up taking a long drive to just be out and enjoy the nice weather we’ve been having.

Early on in the evening one my friends (she will remain nameless to protect her identity) sat down because she was scared she was going to hurt herself.  I went over and checked on her and she was telling me her fears.  I chuckled, not at her but at myself.  I told her that I was trying to think of something sympathetic to say to her but I couldn’t.  I wanted to tell her to just suck it up and get out there and do it.  And I told her as much but in a kinder tone.  Eventually through coaxing from others she got out there and enjoyed herself.  A thought hit me after I talked with her.  How many times in my life am I worried about something and all the things that could go wrong?  I worry about failing.  I need to suck it up and just do it.  One kid helped drive this point home for both of us.  My friend was expressing her concerns about hurting herself when this kid busted it right in front of us.  My friend wanted to use that as an example of why not to try.  However, just as quickly as this kid fell down, he picked himself up, put a smile on his face and went right back to skating.

I know this seems like an overly simplistic example but hey our Lord did most of his teaching using parables.  Why is it that we will go and throw caution to the wind with some momentary event or activity yet we stammer or hold on so tight that our knuckles turn white when the Lord calls us to do something?  We have the creator of the Universe, the God that raises the dead in our corner prodding us and giving us His strength to accomplish his purposes.  So the question posed to each of us, “Will we throw off the shackles that so easily entangle us or will we sit quietly tied down watching life pass us by.”