Being Scared
Photo Courtesy of D Sharon Pruitt
I watched Merlin Mann’s presentation on being scared earlier today. (The title and talk are laced with profanity but once you slice through all that, there are some profound thoughts). He talked about some of the things that scared him in as a child and as an adult. The death of his father, Doyle, the school bully, and the divorce from his first wife. He also had some of the other presenters write out some of their fears. Prolific writers who feared their best work was behind them. Musicians who feared people would find out they were a fraud. Others who were scared to love.
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Needing Goals & Going Dark
So after I ran the CowTown at the end of February, I found myself in a funk. I dropped off the digital landscape and even withdrew socially in person. Looking back, much of it had to do with goals. When I started seriously running, my goal was to lose weight. After losing over 60 pounds by the end of last year, I needed a new goal. That’s when I decided to run a 10k. So I spent the next 2 months training for the CowTown. I ran it and reached the goals I set. I also found myself a graduate from seminary. For four years my goal had been to preserve and graduate.
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Inside the Cowtown 10K
I was up at 5am this morning and on the road by 6:30am. The race started at 7:30am. About 6:40 I found a traffic jam heading into downtown Fort Worth. It was at this point I decided that if I race again, I will have someone drop me off. Many people were getting out of their cars and running to the starting line while a family member or friend took over to get out of the traffic.
I drove around and found a spot where a parking meter used to be and hoped that the police would be too busy with traffic to give me a ticket. I walked/jogged to the start line and made it with about three minutes to spare.
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A Follower or a Disciple?
The sun is at its highest and borders on unbearable. I can feel the heat of the sun seeping through my clothing. My lips are dry and all I taste is dust. That same dust hangs in the air from the crowd moving in front of me.
I don’t know why I’ve been following this man around. He came through Jericho a few weeks ago and was teaching and healing people. I’ve never seen anything like it. The leaders in the synagogue don’t teach like this. They just give us rules and condemnation. This man, they call him Jesus, even speaks against the Pharisees. He claims to be the son of Man and I believe it.
Some of his teachings are encouraging. He teaches that I should not be anxious. God takes care of the birds and the flowers and He loves me so much more, so He will take care of my needs. On the other side he teaches about repentance and perishing if I don’t.
Today was some of the hardest teachings I’ve ever heard. He told us that if we don’t hate our family, our parents, and even our own lives, then we can’t be his disciples. He said I have to bear my cross daily. I have to renounce all that I have to be his disciple.
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Getting Things Done – On the Cheap
I picked up Getting Things Done
- I purchased a physical inbox and process everything in it every couple of days.
- I created a filing system and bought a label maker to simply the process.
- I made a moleskin replacement out of old plastic covers from a notebook and duct tape. I also got a pen, the Zebra F-301 Compact, which fits comfortably in my pocket.
Standing on the Edge of Something
This New Year was truly the turning of a page. I graduated from seminary last month and so now I feel like I have this wide expanse before me. The only problem is I don’t know which way to go. I’ve got a lot of ideas rolling around in my head. However, many of these hair-brained ideas lead to the five years that prefaced my coming to seminary. Read more
Four Years of Seminary – Looking Back
It finally hit me this morning. My seminary career is at a close. When I moved here four years ago, I couldn’t envision actually graduating. I came here with the simple leading of the Spirit. No audible call, no clear direction, no vision and no idea of what the future held. I simply knew that this was the next step. Read more
Leadership Summit 2009 Takeaways
I’ve had the privilege of attending the Willow Creek Leadership Summit the last two years. Last year, I didn’t really know what to expect. This year, with my upcoming field study, I had a sense of anticipation. There were a lot of great speakers and this year there were a lot of small statements that spoke directly to me. They were convicting and I’m still working to live these out. Here are a few of the statements that stood out to me. Read more
Cambodia 2009 Recap
People have asked me what I liked about Cambodia or what I learned. It’s been hard to synthesize my thoughts because in part I was adjusting to being back in the states and also the stress of looking for a job.
The biggest thing that stands out in my mind is the sense of family and community. You’ve got a group of people that come from various nationalities and backgrounds yet have a common bond in Jesus Christ. Despite the cultural and language differences, they are a family. Our idea of family in the states has been skewed because of our frantic schedules and our geographic dispersion. This group in Cambodia eats together, works together, worships together and plays together. They care for each other and serve each other. This just stirred a longing in me for the same kind of community here. Read more
God Opposes the Proud…That Means Me
Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:5-7
How many times have I read passages on humility and pride and thought, “I’m doing ok in this area.” And then I go about my day. There have been other times that I have stared at the word “humility” trying to understand what it really means. Read more
