So after I ran the CowTown at the end of February, I found myself in a funk. I dropped off the digital landscape and even withdrew socially in person. Looking back, much of it had to do with goals. When I started seriously running, my goal was to lose weight. After losing over 60 pounds by the end of last year, I needed a new goal. That’s when I decided to run a 10k. So I spent the next 2 months training for the CowTown. I ran it and reached the goals I set. I also found myself a graduate from seminary. For four years my goal had been to preserve and graduate. So beginning in March I began examining my life. I had accomplished the big goals I had set for myself. Instead of re-evaluating my life and coming up with new goals I just secluded myself and after two months I found myself in a precarious emotional situation. Things had to change but I didn’t know how to change them.
Then one day, I decided I had had enough. I decided I was going to go for an 8 mile run. Or wash the dishes that had been piling up. Or call some friends to grab some dinner. It all came down to a choice. Would I do something or not.
I’m not out of the woods but I at least know where I’m at and so now I can begin plotting a course. Part of that will involve me determining what I want to do and accomplish in the next 5 years and start making goals and working toward them. The other part will be bringing people alongside to hold me accountable and to encourage me.
I’m beginning to understand that you need something to live for in order to keep yourself going. Will I squander the opportunities I have in inactivity or temporal pursuits or in actions that have eternal consequences and will leave a legacy? Only time will tell.