Unsure Future but Steadfast Savior

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. - Psalms 27:12-13

Well, here we are at the mid point of the month of February. A little over a month from now and I’ll be 23. That’s a weird feeling. Actually the weird feeling is being out of college and working everyday. I enjoy my job but at the same time I don’t want to do this for the rest of my life.

All the things that I thought I’d be doing when I graduated, I’m not. Journeyman is on hold till God shows me where He wants me. The church job I looked at might not happen because they want someone with some music background. I’ve just taught myself and don’t know much.

I think I’m at a point where God wants me to be still before I move on. Paul spent time in the desert before he spent the rest of his life preaching to the Gentiles. Some people say that Paul spent close to 13 years in the desert before he moved on. Moses spent 40 years herding sheep, getting ready to herd the Nation of Israel. Jesus spent 30 years learning to walk, talk, and interact with people. He spent probably half of that time learning how to build tables, chairs, carts, and other stuff. If you look at it in one light, you have to wonder why Jesus spent so much time building stuff and less time preaching repentance. I’m not going to answer that but it gives you something to ponder.

So if this is the model we have to follow, then why does everyone automatically assume that now that I’ve graduated from college that I’m immediately going to become a career missionary. Some people think I’m going to do Journeyman, seminary, and then spend the rest of my life as a missionary. The one thing that they and myself both have forgotten is that God can change our plans. They are not ours anyway.

I have never really had time to just be still and listen to God. I’ve always been so busy working for Him. BCM and church, I didn’t leave anytime for God. God used me sometimes, but I missed the bigger picture. He doesn’t care if I preach to a million people, he just wants me to love him and be in constant fellowship with him. He will take care of the rest. So many times we try and get ahead of God and help Him out.

So now that I’ve had time to stop and listen to God and know that Journeyman is not where He wants me right now. Not to say that maybe in the future, but right now He wants me here for a reason. I am beginning to truly enjoy life. I’m enjoying going home and cooking dinner. I enjoy just sitting down in my recliner and reading or playing guitar. I’m happy just going to a movie or out to eat by myself. It’s taken me a long time to get here. I can finally say I’m happy. I have no money to pay bills, but God has and will continue to provide. I have no one special in my life but God is becoming more important to me each day than that person ever could. I can wake up and have no direction and feel like my life is pointless; however, I know that God is at work in me and has something in store for me. I can’t see it now, but I can cling to the single fact that God is there and that is enough.

So much of my life I’ve spent wondering where I’m going and what I’ll do next, and it always frustrated me when God didn’t show me. I’m slowly letting go of that and just being content knowing that He will never leave nor forsake me.

I think I can finally say with all sincerity that God is good, all the time & All the time, God is good.